It's been two weeks since my mom gained heaven. Two weeks since her faith became sight. To say I miss her is an understatement. I have shed many, many tears. I tell her I love her and miss her every single day (no, she doesn't answer me, but it makes me feel like she's still here). I've gone to the cemetery a few times and it makes me sad. She's not there. She is in heaven healed and whole and more alive than she ever was here on this earth. I believe that with all my heart. I feel selfish missing her because she was so sick and I'm so very thankful her suffering is over. She fought hard to try to stay here with us. But there is a hole in my heart that will always be there. I will always miss her because she was such a huge part of my life. I know there are people who aren't close to their moms and that makes me very sad for those people. My mom and I were very close. I cherish the memories I have of her. She was wonderful and I am so very proud to be her daughter.
So where do I go from here? Frankly I had considered not blogging anymore. Mainly because for the last two years the only thing I have blogged about is my mom. I don't know that there are very many people who even read this blog anymore, and that's OK. I blog for myself anyway and I still have things to share and stories to tell so I've decided I'm going to keep Down On The Farm going if for no other reason than I enjoy it.
I'm in the process of simplifying my life and I'm starting with my house. We've lived here for over 20 years and we've accumulated a lot of stuff. I'm not a spender. I don't get up on Saturday mornings and feel like I have to go shopping and buy myself something. But in the last 20 years our house has gotten really "full." So I'm purging and donating and organizing. I've cleaned out a small closet that had become the equivalent of a junk drawer and I'll be blogging about that soon and posting before and after pictures. It's amazing what purging, and a few bins from Marshalls can do for a small closet!! I cleaned out just one drawer in my bathroom but OH THE JOY of that one empty drawer!!! It's the little things people!!!
Our daughter came by this weekend and took the final load of items from her old room. So I'm going to do some switch-a-roos with closets and bedroom furniture and I'll be blogging about that as well. Our interior walls need painted and everything just needs to be REFRESHED! Nothing major. Not knocking out any walls. But we've really done very little to our house in the last 20 years and it's time for an update. I'm looking forward to doing that and sharing the process with you.
My sweet grandson will be here in late fall and my goal is to be able to spend as much time with him, and our kids, as possible. And NOT to be stressing about all the closets I need to clean out or all the drawers I need to empty. I'm on a mission to get everything cleaned and organized by the end of the year. And hopefully it won't take me that long!!! My house isn't that big and I'm not a hoarder so there really isn't THAT much to do. But I do have several drawers and closets that need to be emptied out and organized. My theme is -- if I don't need it, use it or love it IT'S GONE!!!!
I really do want to say thank you for sticking with me through the two most difficult years of my life. Your prayers for me and my family and my beautiful mother have been appreciated so much. It made a difference. No, the outcome was not what I prayed for my mom, but I trust that God knows what He's doing. Knowing that my mother is in heaven waiting for me makes me smile through my tears.
So if you've come this far with me and you're ready to go a little farther please keep visiting Down On The Farm. There will be LOTS OF PICTURES of my new grandson (YES, I'M GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE GRANDMAS!!!). Pictures of "before" and "after" of drawers and closets and walls. Stories about my mom and my husband and my kids. Stories about my life surrounded by cows and turkeys and dust and mud and flies and manure. Posts about my faith in Jesus and a few sermons cause I can't keep silent about His love for me! Maybe some recipes and some funny stories and the day to day life of a 54 year old wife and mom and soon to be grandma trying to make the REST of my life the BEST of my life. I want to be a better servant of Jesus, a better daughter, sister, aunt, friend, mom and wife. I want to be the very best ME that God created me to be.
Blessings from Down On The Farm!!!!