Thursday, December 14, 2017

11 Days Til Christmas

I don't have my Christmas tree up and it's not looking good that I will get it put up.  The jury is still out but every day that goes by makes it a little easier to NOT put it up.  But who knows . . . I may get energetic this weekend.  Heaven knows my house could use some Christmas cheer. 

I have purchased a few gifts but none are wrapped.

I haven't even ordered Christmas cards so for the first time in years it doesn't look like anyone will get a Christmas card from me. Again, there's still this weekend for my interest level in Christmas cards to kick in.  I'll let you know.

I did set out my little glass Christmas tree collection on my mantle. . . does that count for anything?

Seriously . . . InstaGram makes me feel so inadequate, especially at Christmas time.
 My mom has had a tough time.  We did get the two remaining compression fractures fixed last week (yes there were two instead of one . . . again) and her back is feeling better.  But she is really struggling to eat.  She has no energy.  She just sits and watches television and naps.

I have prayed, I have bound, I have rebuked.

I have pled the blood of Jesus.  I have quoted Scripture.  I have called and asked for prayer from every reputable Christian ministry I can think of.

We have some big decisions to make where her treatment is concerned.

She needs your prayers.

My hope is in Jesus, and I trust Him completely.

But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit that there are days I just don't understand.

Psalm 27: 13-14
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Monday, December 4, 2017

You Might Be A Farm Wife






Wednesday, November 29, 2017


When I posted about my mom last week the news wasn't very good .  My mom had a really tough weekend before last.  But this past weekend, Thanksgiving weekend, I'm happy to report was a completely different story.

My mom is better.  Much better than weekend before last.  She is eating and drinking more than she had been, and has regained a couple of the few pounds she lost (praise the Lord!).  In fact when she went Monday morning for her maintenance chemo the doctor and nurses were amazed at the difference just one week had made.

Her doctor has decided to let mom build up some strength before we proceed with the vertebroplasty (to fix the compression fracture in her back) and with pulling any teeth.  She did take her maintenance chemo Monday, and the side effects were minimal and we praise God for that.  We want her to have another week of eating and feeling better before we do anything else.

She does have an issue with her blood thinner and she needs your prayers for that.  She will get her blood tested again today and we're believing for a good report in Jesus name.

She does still have some pain from her back, but after they changed her pain meds it is better.  And her mouth is better too which has made it easier for her to eat.

So that said, PLEASE keep praying for her.  This is a long road and we still trust that God is in control.  It really is a rollercoaster ride, physically and mentally, for my mom and for our family.  We continue to stand upon God's Word that says by His stripes SHE IS HEALED.  We pray for that daily.   Mom feels better, but she never really feels "good."  Her strength has improved from weekend before last, but she is still weak.  Next week we hope to do the vertebroplasty for the compression fracture so we can get her off the pain medicine which will make her feel even better!  The teeth, well, the doctor is looking for another type of medicine to strengthen mom's bones so we don't have to get her teeth pulled anytime soon.  Our concern is the pain from the extractions will set her back a few days by making it painful to eat, and we're not at a point where she can afford to go several days without eating.

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who is praying for my mom.  And I'm sure there are some of you reading this blog who say "prayer doesn't seem to be helping 'cause your mom is still sick."  We fix our eyes on Jesus.  Faith means trusting in what we don't yet see.  We don't see her complete healing, but we are trusting Jesus.  We believe He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Yes, we have days of being discouraged.  Just being honest.  But when the devil whispers his lies we CHOOSE TO STAND UPON THE WORD OF GOD.  WE ARE BLESSED BY THOSE WHO STAND WITH US AND REFUSE TO STOP PRAYING AND BELIEVING WITH US

May God bless you all. 

Monday, November 20, 2017

Updating Again

Mom had a doctor's appointment this morning.

It was decided that she is too weak to take maintenance chemo today, too weak to have oral surgery tomorrow to remove her teeth, and too weak to do the additional vertebroplasty to fix the remaining compression fracture.

So everything is on "hold" for right now.

She is in a lot of pain from getting the impressions done in her mouth, which has caused her to not be able to eat, which has caused her to lose weight she can't afford to lose.

So they sent her back home with some new pain medicine, some new medicine to try to heal her mouth, and instructed her to eat and gain weight.

Eating is very difficult for my mom.

She needs your effectual fervent prayer.
 The Word tells us that is the type of prayer that avails MUCH.

That is what my mom needs right now.
So please pray as if this was your mother, your sister, your daughter, your friend.

Pray with faith trusting our Lord Jesus that He is in control.
We stand upon His Word.

I thank you for your continued prayers.  They mean ever so much.


Thursday, November 9, 2017


During the procedure Monday on mom's back, they discovered she has another compressed vertebra.  So 3 compression fractures instead of 2.  Sometime in the last 3 weeks another vertebrae became compressed.  They were only able to fix 2 of the fractures since, as the doctor explained, they can only do 2 at a time so instead of coming out of the procedure pain free . . . she's still hurting.

They have put her on a stronger pain medicine which helps a little, but of course doesn't take the pain away. She will have to go back in a couple of weeks for the same procedure to get the third compression fracture fixed. 

The only way to keep the compression fractures from continuing is to start giving her injections every six months to strengthen the bones.  But she has to have some teeth pulled before they can give her the injection, since the injection will make pulling any teeth nearly impossible, and my mom's teeth are not good.

In the middle of everything, my mom is trying to take maintenance chemo every week.

As you can imagine all of this is very discouraging to my mom, and to our entire family. 

I feel like a broken record, but I need you all to join me in speaking healing over my mother.  The issues just keep piling on and she needs a touch from Jesus.

We continue to put our trust in Him. 

He is our Strength.

He is our Healer.

Please agree with me in prayer for my beautiful mom.

And thanks to everyone who has stuck with me this past year and a half.

I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything that wasn't about my mom.

But our world pretty much revolves around my mom's health these days.

Thank you all for praying.  It is appreciated more than you can imagine.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Please Pray Today

Today at 1:00 p.m. my mom is having a procedure called "vertebroplasty" to fix the two compression fractures she has in her back.  She has been in nearly constant pain for 3 weeks since the fractures occurred.  So I ask all of you prayer warriors to PLEASE AGREE WITH US IN PRAYER FOR A ROUTINE PROCEDURE, NO COMPLICATIONS, AND COMPLETE RELIEF FROM THIS PAIN!!!!

The good news is, the first dose of maintenance chemo last week had no side effects!!!  So I know once mom has this procedure today and her pain ends, she can get back to building up some strength, putting on some weight, and FEEL BETTER!!!!  She is so tired of feeling bad.  She takes her second dose tomorrow, and then a maintenance chemo dose each week through January.  At that time we head back to MD Anderson in Texas for new scans and we are BELIEVING FOR COMPLETE HEALING IN HIS NAME!

Our hope is in Jesus.  He is our Source and our Strength.

Our hearts are broken for those in Texas affected by the evil that occurred yesterday.  Our prayers continue.


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Great Faith Is Hard

Do you know how hard it is to have great faith??  I mean, really.  I read about some of those Old Testament folks, and I'm absolutely AMAZED at the unbelievable leaps of faith they took.  They left the land of their forefathers.  Noah built a boat, and it had never rained before on the earth.  But he built a boat anyway.  Abraham tied up his only son and lifted the knife above his body, moments away from offering him as a sacrifice.  But he had faith that somehow God was in control and he trusted Him no matter what.  Elijah told the heathens to pour water on the altar just a few moments before he prayed, asking God to send fire from heaven.  I wonder if he ever doubted?? I wonder if it ever crossed his mind what would happen if God didn't come through??  

These men had GREAT FAITH.

And in the New Testament, too.  Fishermen left their nets to follow a Man walking by who said "follow Me."  A tax collector left his job to become a disciple.  Two men who were already followers of John the Baptist left him to follow Jesus.  Paul abandoned his entire life's work and belief system to follow Jesus and preach the Gospel to the Gentiles.  And he endured persecution, stoning, beatings, and yet he clung to Jesus and he had GREAT FAITH that no matter what, Jesus was with him.

They all had GREAT FAITH.  And I know that while the pages of the Bible don't go into much detail of what those men were feeling during those moments of decision, I can only imagine the faith it must have taken to do what they did.

I will admit my faith has been far from great recently.

My beautiful mother took 4 chemo treatments this fall . . . but was just too tired and weak to take the 5th and final dose.  So the doctors decided to give her a break for a few weeks to build up some strength before "maintenance chemo" begins.  And just when she was beginning to feel better, just when she had started to drive again and go to the grocery store by herself and putter around in the yard, she bent over to take off her shoe last week and her back started hurting.  After several hours at the Emergency Room Sunday morning they discovered a compression fracture at L3 in her lower back.  My mom has osteoporosis and arthritis and her bones are weak and brittle.  

There's really nothing they can do to fix the break, it will just take time to heal.  So they sent her home with pain medicine and muscle relaxers.  The muscle relaxers make her very sleepy and loopy so she isn't taking them at all.  She takes 1/2 dose of the liquid pain medicine, but it has some side effects as well.  My mom is tiny and frail and weak and struggles to eat enough just to maintain her tiny weight.  She desperately wants to feel better.  She wants to be normal.  She wants her old life back.  We all do.

I'm being brutally honest here, so if want a light cheery blog post you should probably leave now.  But if you trust in Jesus, I urge you to stick with me . . . just for a few minutes.  
Cause I'm gonna be real.

These days I look at my mom, and I look at the situation, and my faith feels so tiny it's almost non-existent.  Negativity and doubt have crept in.  Those emotions, and other situations in my life, have robbed me of joy and peace.  I had begun to accept the lies of the enemy.  Lies that said my Jesus wasn't going to come through.  Lies that said I was on my own in the midst of this raging, relentless storm.  Lies that told me to give up.

But today I saw a post on Instagram that was exactly what I needed to read today.  Stephen Furtick of Elevation Church said this --


I have been trying desperately to run from this battle.  I want to take my toys and go home.  I am tired of praying.  Tired of trying to praise in the middle of a storm so ferocious I see no way out.  I am tired of watching my mother's health deteriorate.   And so I've tried to run from it all.  But in the moment I read that quote from Stephen Furtick, I realized that I can't run.  God never rewarded a quitter.  He never rewarded doubters.  He always asked His people to do something.  They had to take the first step, and then He took care of the rest.  He told those Old Testament guys to go fight, and then he would take care of the battle.  But they couldn't sit around in their tents while God did battle for them.  He said do all you can do and then stand.

He never said run.


And I have spent a lot of time desperately wanting to run from this battle.  The most difficult battle of my life.  I'm tired, and I just want God to fix everything.  Today.  

Fixing everything today would be awesome.

I don't want to run anymore.  Because I know that God is in the midst of the battle.  If I can't endure the battle, if I'm running from the battle, then there is no blessing.  I can't have both.  Because running means I don't trust my Jesus.  I have to stay in this, and I have to pray, and I have to trust Him.  

No more running.  

What testimony do I have if I run when things don't go my way?

What am I showing other Christians if I can't say with all my heart "no matter what happens, I'm gonna have GREAT FAITH in Jesus."

God isn't in the midst of my negativity.

God isn't in the midst of my pity party.

Stephen Furtick also said "the enemy can't prevent God from blessing you, but he might be able to prevent you from receiving it." 

I will not allow the enemy to rob me of God's blessing.  The blessing of His peace and His joy and His comfort. I want to receive everything God has for me.

I'm still praying for my mother.  Praying for complete and total healing.  Praying for a miracle.

I'm not running from the battle anymore. I want to be fully present no matter what.
I want to stand before Him one day and hear "well done."
I want others to see my Jesus in me, even in the midst of the storm.

Great faith is hard.  But it's not impossible.
Not when you trust in Jesus.

NO MORE RUNNING . . . . . . . 

Hebrews 6:19 - We have this HOPE as an anchor for our souls, firm and secure.

Jesus is my Hope.  I'm running to Him.