Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I Want Normal Back

There was no Memorial Day BBQ for our family this year.  I gave my mother IV antibiotics through her Medi-Port every evening Tuesday through Sunday (and no, I'm not a nurse).

My mother is at the Emergency Room as I'm typing this post.  She is beyond weak.  She can't eat and drink enough to even maintain her strength, let alone gain any ground. Her hemoglobin is low, and she needs a blood transfusion.  She can barely get herself in and out of bed.  She needs a healing touch from Jesus.

As I very quickly scrolled through Facebook and Instagram this morning, I saw loads of pictures of people at the river/lake/ocean.  Lots of pictures of BBQs and celebrations.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  Just because our family is going through a struggle doesn't mean everyone else is.

And it makes me wonder what I was doing while someone else's life was falling apart?  Did my friends look at me in the midst of their fear and worry and think "wow, she's so lucky, her life is normal."  Did I think about all the times someone else was hurting, and my life was normal?

It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, that we forget not everyone is happy.

I want normal back.   

I'm reading The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp.

It is a reminder that everyone has times of hurting in their life.  And our job, our responsibility, as Christians is to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others when they are hurting.  And ESPECIALLY during times when we are  hurting.  That is how we take the focus off of our "valley" and we do our best to bless others.  That is how we show our love.

So, in the midst of feeling absolutely overwhelmed, and desperately wanting my mother to get better so I can have "normal" back . . . how can I pray for you today??


  1. I see your pain...even feel it. Even more, I identify with your pleading desire for 'normal' to come back in your life. It has stretched you far beyond what you feel you can stand. Understand. Fact is, we all come to a realization of what you have so humanly expressed in this post. I appreciate your bravery of putting it out there.
    I am praying for you. I know how difficult this is...for each one of you. It is most emotionally painful to see someone we most love suffering. It is hard. Plain out hard. But God has this. He is carrying this. He loves your mom. Peace be in your heart as you draw close to Him. This has worn on you. It would anyone. You, my friend, are strong and faithful. God will get you all through this. Hold His hand. He deeply loves you all. Prayers for you and your mother. God knows all the solutions and how to help.

  2. Honey, I am praying you can have a normal life again soon. I pray that Jesus will give your mother strength to help her get well...to be able to enjoy some normalcy herself. I thought of your mother this past weekend...as I prayed for my blog families...as many of you have prayed for me and my family. We all need each other and we all truly need our Lord. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

  3. My heart goes out to you and your sweet mama. I will add extra prayers for your entire family. I know how rough it can be. Love ya girl friend.

  4. Your mother is still in my prayers. I know how difficult it is to see your mother suffering. It is just plain hard. Know that many of us are praying for her and for you, too. Take care.

  5. Robbin, I know that exact place where you are right now. It feels like the world keeps moving and you're stuck in this nightmare. I'm so sorry about your mom and all that she is going through. It's so very hard to care for someone you love, who is so ill.
    When my dad was sick and in the hospital for 6 months (5 hours away), we would drive down there once a week and I was still homeschooling Collin. His education that year was all medical related :) But, there were some really, really sweet moments tucked into all of that illness and hospital time. He still had his sense of humor, at times. My sisters and I and my stepmom and occasionally an uncle or two, had great times in the waiting rooms, telling old stories and laughing.
    It's a season we all go through and it's tough.

    My prayer is that the Lord would give you some really sweet moments with your mom and your family. I pray for your mom's healing and all that she is going through.

    And I pray that good friends will show up, in real life - in person, and love on all of you the way we're supposed to during seasons of hardship.

  6. Hugs hugs hugs, my friend. God will give you strength to be there for your mom. Prayers for her healing.

  7. Robbin, I'm so sorry to hear. I have so many friends who are currently in your shoes with a loved one, or are there themselves, going through cancer treatments. And there are others I know who are struggling with family issues (my sister included), abandonment and estrangement issues. It seems life is filled with sorrow on every side. It really makes you aware of your blessings, that's for sure.

    Your post title reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Mary Jean Irion: "Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are." She goes on to write: "Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

    I remember when my father fell from the roof, after a ladder broke, and how he crushed his ankle and it had to be pieced together with metal rods and pins and how he couldn't walk on it for three months and how my husband and I stayed with my parents during this difficult season. I remember the night that I surrendered to what was ahead, knowing I was having to leave my home and my routines. It wasn't easy, but when I changed my perspective, and began to see it as a time to slow down and be there for my mom and dad, as they had always been there for me, my attitude completely changed. There were many exhausting days and sleepless nights, as my father isn't the most patient person in the world, but those three months also contained some of the sweetest, richest moments that I've ever spent with my parents. Four years later, I still remember those days as some of the best of times that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

    I know I've written a novella here, but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your mom and family, that you will discover a peace not known before and, as Debbie said before me, that you will experience sweet, sweet moments with your mother.

    I'm curious to know if her condition is due to the harsh treatment or to the disease? Was she seemingly healthy before her diagnosis? Please know you and your mom are in my prayers tonight.