I need a red dress.
I am going to a dinner Saturday evening, and I have to wear red.
I don't own a red dress.
Frankly I only own ONE dress, and it's blue. I bought it to wear to graduation three months ago.
I do not wear dresses. Or skirts. I don't own a skirt. Really, I don't.
See, I'm trying to lose weight. Actually I've been trying to lose weight for a long time.
Six years ago I lost 30 pounds. I've put most of that back on.
So I don't buy clothes. I mean, I only buy clothes when I have to 'cause I'm waiting to lose the weight before I buy new clothes.
I've actually adopted a new lifestyle recently to help me get back on track and lose weight. And someday I'll tell you about it. (I've lost two pounds!)
But wait, I'm WAY off track.
Anyway, I need a red dress. So last night I went to buy a red dress.
This is not the season for red dresses. They are hard to find.
I finally found one that didn't look horrible on me. I took it to the register to pay. And the lady said "I'm gonna cheat a little here and say that you look really good for 50 so that I can give you our "Senior Citizen Tuesday" discount of 10%." I looked at her and said, "I am 50." She said "Wow, you don't look 50. But since you really are 50, you get the 10% Senior Citizen Tuesday discount."
SINCE WHEN DID TURNING 50 MAKE ME A SENIOR CITIZEN????????????????